


Loved

by PleaseDontGetMeRescued



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1855192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleaseDontGetMeRescued/pseuds/PleaseDontGetMeRescued
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak was never an abundantly loved woman.  Until she was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loved

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This popped into my head today and wouldn't get out so here it is. This is my first Arrow fic but I ship Olicity hella hard since I marathoned both seasons in three days. Not sorry. Anywho, I hope it's good. It's not proofread. I'll do that later. Enjoy!  
> Also, comment are my fave!

 

 

Felicity Smoak is not an abundantly loved woman.She never has been.

Her father, for instance, seemingly had no trouble up and leaving her when she was six.No goodbye and no _I love you._ Thinking back on it she’s not really sure why that surprises her.After all, a man who doesn’t even have the decency to stick around with his family certainly doesn’t love them.She doesn’t remember him leaving, but can still feel the old familiar sting in her heart when she looks back on it now.

Her mother, on the other hand, did stick around.Physically, at least.Sure, she was there to take Felicity to school and give her a dollar for milk but what with her drug dependency and string of useless men clinging to her, there was always a resentment there.Why should she spend money on her child when she could use it to buy crack or booze?  

It always had come as a surprise to Felicity when her mother took the time to actually act like one.Sometimes she’d yell at Felicity for using all of their laundry quarters to access the internet at the public library.Other times she’s remind her to wear a coat.When she was drunk or high her mother would shout at her for looking too much like her father or blame her for his leaving.That always stung the most.But what surprised Felicity more than anything was when her mother would stroke her hair and wipe away her tears when she came home from school crying.She’d remind Felicity that life was cruel and kids were mean.That people used hateful words to tear down others because they couldn’t handle how they felt about themselves.She’d say that you were who you were and there was no changing that, no changing where you came from, or where you belonged.She never tells Felicity _I love you_ though _._ She _does_ tell her to suck it up. _The world doesn’t love you, kid.And it doesn’t owe you anything.No one does._

At school Felicity mostly kept to herself.She didn’t really have any friends.Although Carolyn Smith talked to her during computer lessons when she needed help, and Bobby Joseph sometimes sat by her in the lunch room.When she got to high school she had a few friends that she would sometimes hang out with on the weekends.They appreciated her brains and chuckled at her when she stumbled over her words.They were good people but weren’t extremely close and lost touch after graduation.  

Going away to MIT was the hardest and easiest thing Felicity had ever done.  

She hated the heat and the crowds and the expectations that everyone had of her to turn out exactly like her mother.So, she worked her ass off to be the top of her class, get into MIT, and win scholarships and loans.She wasn’t going to be stuck in Las Vegas forever.It wasn’t a magical place like everybody thought.It wasn’t what she wanted for her life.It wasn’t home.Still, when she tells her mother that she’s leaving Felicity feels an ache in her chest.This is the only place she’s ever been.Her mother is the only person that ever stuck around through everything.Despite her problems and nagging, her mother was still her mother.She had expected Felicity to amount to nothing in her life and was more surprised than proud when Felicity graduated with full honors and a scholarship to one of the best schools in the country.Felicity expected that her mother just didn’t know how to express her pride in her daughter.But, she’d take what she could get. When she packed her bags and moved across the country, her mother looked pleased.At least, that’s what she hoped.  

Getting on the plane and leaving the familiar was hard.Leaving the only constant in her life was harder.But since the world didn’t love her, and didn’t owe her anything, Felicity would make her life worth it for herself.  

For Felicity, college was an average experience.Being surrounded by people with similar interests opened her eyes to the world.She made a few decent friends, focused on her studies, astonished her professors and councilors, and even dated a few boys.Although, none of them stuck around very long when they realized that Felicity babbled and was clumsy and was more cute than sexy (literally, one of them said that to her when he ended it) and was a literal genius.She suspected that last part intimidated them.She was never surprised when the boys never stuck around for more than a month or two.No one else ever had.Still, by the end of her sophomore year the loneliness was beginning to get to her.  

She pushed on though.She made straight As and studied abroad in France and designed computer software for fun in her spare time.She binge watched Netflix on the weekend while eating containers of mint chip.She worked a few jobs to try and get started on paying off her student loans.She studied.She kept to herself.  

She did her four years and graduated, again with top honors, and this time with a degree saying she could get pretty much any job she wanted, if they would have her.She was still lonely.  

Her mother didn’t come to commencement.  

That, admittedly, had stung.A lot.But, the world didn’t love her and didn’t owe her anything.But she, once again, owed it to herself to have a fresh start.So she moved to Starling City.

It took her about five seconds to land a job as an I.T. girl for Queen Consolidated.She was a genius with computers, after all, and any idiot could tell.And, although she was looking for something a little more substantial that the I.T. Department of QC, the pay was pretty good and she knew it was a better first job than most people got straight out of college.And, she liked it there.Life working at QC was pretty normal.She made a few friends, acquired a social life, and was genuinely enjoying herself, even if this job was just a stepping stone for a better one.But, before she knew it four years had passed.And then Oliver Queen walked into her office.  

Before Oliver Felicity’s life was pretty good: low-key, and boring.Not exactly the worthwhile, adventure-seeking life she had promised herself but still better than the one she’d had growing up.  

After Oliver, her life took a drastic turn.One day she’s getting the occasional drink with coworker before going home and marathoning superhero movies, the next she’s in one:hacking government databases and tox screening “energy drinks” for playboy, mysteriously back-from-the-dead Mr. Oliver Queen.Then her boss goes missing.Then she finds out Oliver is the vigilante.Then gets roped into being on his team.And, before she knows it she no longer has time for drinks with her friends or ogling Captain America’s ass.She’s too busy tracking down bad guys, nearly getting blown up, and stupidly falling hard for Oliver Queen.  

Her life is a whirlwind now.Not a day goes by that isn’t some sort of adventure.It’s a rush and, most of all, she doesn’t feel quite so alone anymore.She has real friends that actually talk to her every day and spend time with her, even if that time is mostly spent in the basement of a nightclub.She and Digg become friends almost immediately, bonding over how ridiculous Oliver is, their shared amusement at his antics, and their worry for his well-being.Oliver values her.He admired her brains and abilities and is never shy about asking for what he needs or giving her what she needs.It is an easy give and take to their friendship.They fit so easily, Felicity doesn’t even realize it when Team Arrow becomes the center of her life.To her, she isn’t just an I.T. girl.She’s a part of a vigilante team.She helps save the city and the people in it.Her best friends are a billionaire and an ex-special forces agent who beat up bad guys at night.She loves that while she’s been helping save people’s lives, she’s started living her own.  

She loves every minute of it.

Then the undertaking happens.Tommy Merlyn dies and Oliver disappears and she’s tracking him down and then she and Digg are on a very small plane to Lian Yu, then they’re jumping out of said plane and she’s almost getting blown up again, and they convince Oliver to come home but he’s different and sad and it hurts Felicity’s heart.Moira Queen is in prison and on trial for hundreds of counts of murder.Thea is dating a petty thief and Sara Lance comes back from the dead.They go to Russia to find Lyla and Oliver literally lies down with the enemy by sleeping with Isabel Rochev.Then Felicity is almost turned into a drug addict and Oliver kills on her behalf, breaking his promise to his dead best friend.Barry Allen comes to town and her mind is taken off of Oliver and her stupid, useless feelings for him for a short while.Then Barry is struck by lightening.Before they know it Moira is running for mayor against Sebastian Blood and Thea’s real dad is Malcolm Merlyn and Oliver is breaking ties with his mother.Then Sara joins Team Arrow and Felicity’s whole world stops.Because they are _her_ friends, _her_ family.Not Sara’s.They are all she has and it feels like Sara is trying to steal them away from her and Felicity knows she is being petty and jealous but she can’t stop.Then she’s fucking up her job and _god, why do they even need her anymore?She can’t do anything right._ And all she wants is to do _something right_ so she goes after Tockman and puts everyone in danger and ends up getting shot and it’s a whole huge mess.But then she’s all floaty and Oliver is calling her _his girl_ even though she know’s he’s seeing Sara and that _doesn’t_ hurt her heart, it _doesn’t._ Then Slade is alive and there is Mirakuru Roy has been exposed and they’re trying to create an antidote.Then Moira is murdered and Oliver’s world is crushed.And then the world is ending and suddenly Oliver is pressing a syringe into her hand and _I love you_ and _Do you understand?_ and then Slade’s sword is against her neck and Laurel is by her side and the world is ending, ending, ending, until it’s not.And _You really sold it_ and _We both did_ and when they get back from Lian Yu Felicity lies in her bed and thinks about her life.  

She has changed so much.Since she left Vegas.Since she graduated and started her life.Since Oliver walked into her office.Hell, since he gave her that needle.She is not the same person she used to be.She is brave and smart and relied upon.She has friends, and a job, and a life.She is proud of who she is.But even with all of that, even with friends as wonderful as Oliver and Digg, right now, laying in her bed by herself, after the world had _not_ ended but hers had shattered all around her, she feels sad.She feels lonely.Because _we both did, we both did, we both did_ which is basically just saying _I lied, I lied, I don’t love you, I lied._ She’s knows it was all for show, all a part of the plan to get Slade.But it still _fucking hurts_.Because he doesn’t love her.No one ever has.Because the world doesn’t love you and it doesn’t owe you anything.No one does.  

*

Months later, when Starling City has pieced itself back together again, everything is different and yet nothing has changed.Roy is mopey as ever.Lyla is very pregnant.Sara stops by every once in a while.Laurel is still going to AA.Thea is still gone.Oliver still hunts bad guys with their help.Felicity still worries about him.And Digg still smiles at them like he knows something they don’t.Felicity has even managed to stay out of trouble recently: no bomb collars strapped to her neck or bullet wounds.Everything is normal and (for the most part) happy.Their little team is growing strong.  

There is a flurry of activity in the Foundry tonight.Digg and Roy are training on the mats as Felicity sits at her computer running software updates and sipping a cup of coffee.Behind her, Oliver is zipping up his hood in preparation for his nighttime patrols.Starling has been eerily quite in the past week, leaving the team in extremely good moods all around.Felicity could almost pretend they are just a normal group of friends.Almost.  

The strained sounds coming from the mats stop as Digg and Roy finish off their sparring.Roy heads out to go start his shift at his new job and Digg heads home to take care of Lyla, wishing them both goodnight.The room settles into near silence as Oliver gathers his arrows into his quiver.Felicity is too absorbed in her screens to notice him come up behind her and she jumps when his gloved hand comes down on her shoulder.She can feel the heat of his hand even through the glove on her skin where the straps of her dress doesn’t cover.She suppresses her shudder and looks up at him. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.Did you not hear me?” He asks, swiping a few strands of hair away from her shoulder.  

“No, sorry, what’s up?” She replies, subconsciously leaning into his warmth.  

“I said you can go home.It’s only a Thursday night and I probably won’t need you.It’s been quiet lately and you haven’t had a night off in a while.You should get some rest.”

“That’s okay.I’ve still got a few software updates to run.Plus, I’d much rather spend the night with you anyway.”His eyebrows creep up into his hairline and Felicity stumbles over her words.“Not, like _with you,_ with you I mean like doing Arrow related stuff.Not that I don’t want to spend the night with you - I mean like, in that way, because who wouldn’t?I mean! I wouldn’t.Because we’re friends.And you’re my boss and that’d be weird.Not like _weird_ , weird! I just meant - I’m just gonna stop talking.Right now.”  

He’s smirking down at her with that smile that he reserves for her at moments like these that unfortunately come way more frequently than Felicity is comfortable with - like he’s amusing a child’s demands.Felicity wants to stab herself.In the face.With one of his arrows.Until she dies.  

“Right,” Oliver finally says, squeezing her shoulder and retreating.“Well make sure you text me when you’re heading home.Just so I know.”He does this every night, asks her to let him know when she’s going home, acting like an overprotective boyfriend which he definitely is not.It sometimes confuses her because, while they’re friends, it seems a little over the top how much he’s been worrying over her for the past several months.She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.But, after all of the people in his life that he’s lost, she can hardly blame him for being protective.  

“Okay.I will.And be careful out there!” she shouts in the general direction of the stairs.

“I will,” he replies, and then the door to the Foundry is slamming shut and Felicity slams her head down into her keyboard in frustration, effectively messing up her software updates and forcing her to start over.  

*

She’s in her car on her way home several hours later when she remembers she’d forgotten to text Oliver to let him know she’d left.She’s reaching for her phone when Oliver’s name flashes to light on the screen like he’d read her mind.She can’t help but smile before answering.“Hey, sorry.I forgot to text you.But, I was literally just about to call you.”

“It’s fine.”He sounds relieved and Felicity feels bad for worrying him. “You’re on your way home, though?”  

She hits the bump at the beginning of the bridge on her usual route home.“Yeah.I’m just crossing the bridge.How was the patrol?”Whenever they’re on the phone together Felicity is always hesitant to hang up, wanting to talk with him as long as possible.She knows it’s pathetic.She doesn’t care.  

“All quiet, thankfully.I’m on my way back now.How about the software updates?”

“All finished.My babies are all squeaky clean and up to date.”

“Good.”She can hear the smile in his voice.She hits the second bump on the bridge, about two thirds of the way across and her phone flies out of her hand and lands down by her feet, wedging itself beneath the break.She swears under her breath as she reaches down, searching blindly for it.She can still faintly hear Oliver’s voice through the speaker asking her what’s going on.Her chin is somewhere near the steering wheel and there is no one else on the road so she chances a glance down by her feet.She only looks down for half a second but when she looks back up she sees a shaggy white dog trying to run away from being hit by her car. 

She swears colorfully again, swerving to the right instinctively, trying not to hit the dog.She only realizes how bad of a decision that had been when she feels her little mini cooper hit the side railing of the bridge before tumbling over.She screams.The airbags go off.There is black, cold pressure all around her.And then she passes out. 

*

When she wakes up it’s to soft fingers combing through her hair and gentle lips murmuring against her forehead.Her chest aches like hell and her head feels worse.She is also freezing.She carefully blinks her eyes open and everything is blurry.Where are her glasses?She can hear the steady beat of a heart monitor in the background and can make out the all-white room of a hospital.  

“Oliver?”Her voice is scratchy, it hurts to speak.  

“Oh, thank God.”He sounds so relieved and his gentle fingers trace her cheek so softly she barely feels it.“Felicity.”He whispers her name like a prayer.  

“What happened?” she asks, drinking gratefully from the straw he presses between her lips.  

“Your car went over the bridge when you swerved to avoid hitting a dog.You’re okay, though.You’re safe now.You’re safe.”He has her face cupped in his hands and is staring into her eyes so intensely it’s almost too much.She leans further into her pillows to break the contact.Her ribs scream in protest and she can’t hold back a groan.She eyes the extra sweatshirt he’s wearing and the small cut on his eyebrow and just knows he had jumped in to save her.

“How bad is it?” she asks as he strokes her hair again and calls the nurse.

“You have four broken ribs, a major concussion, a large cut on your head that needed stitches, some bruising, and hypothermia.But, you’re alive and will be back to perfect in no time.”

“ _Perfect_ ,” she mutters bitterly, shaking her head and making her vision swim. _Perfect._ Laurel is perfect.Sara is perfect.She’s a shivering I.T. girl with abandonment issues who can’t even drive herself home without getting into trouble.  

Oliver gets that wrinkle between his eyes that comes out whenever she says something particularly ridiculous.That only makes her feel worse.“Hey, what’s the matter?”He’s holding one hand in hers and tracing circles on her neck with the other.

“Nothing.I’m sorry.”She pushes her chin into her chest, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable, unable to look at him.  

His circles on her neck pause momentarily before picking back up.“What on earth could you possibly have to be sorry for?”  

“I just keep getting myself into trouble.The Dodger and Tockman and Slade and now this?Face it Oliver, I’m just in the way.”

“Hey,” he says, firmly holding her face in his hands but still gentle enough not to hurt her bruises.He forces her to look at him.“Don’t you say that, Felicity.Don’t you ever say that.”He brushes his thumb over her cheek.“You are not in the way.You are not a liability, do you hear me?”His gaze is boring into her.“You are irreplaceable, Felicity.You are vital to this team.You are so, so important to us.To me.I need you, Felicity.” 

Even without her glasses on she can see the unwavering sincerity in his eyes.She suddenly feels bad for saying anything at all.For doubting how much he values her as a teammate, as a partner.As a person.So, she cracks a smile and puts a sparkle back into her eye.“Well, obviously.Did you see your computer software before I joined the team?Scary.What would you do without me?”He chuckles and stares down at her - bruised and battered and in an ugly hospital gown - with some emotion in his eyes that she can’t place, it almost hurts to look at and then - 

“I love you.”

He says it so softly, so fondly.Her heart stops.  

The heart rate monitor stutters for a second before picking up double the speed.He is smiling at her, still holding her face.Her eyes are probably as wide as saucers but he’s just smiling down at her with so much emotion.She forces herself to look away. “What?”

“I love you, Felicity.” 

No.no, no, no this is wrong because she’s heard those words before and Y _ou really sold it_ and _We both did_ and _I lied, I lied, I don’t love you, I lied_ but his eyes aren’t lying and neither is his voice or his smile and suddenly her throat is thick with tears and they’re dripping down her cheeks and could he really? _Could he really love me?_ She’s crying and it makes her head hurt about twenty times worse but he _loves_ her?

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey, come on.What’s wrong?Please don’t cry, Felicity.I’m sorry.Please don’t cry.”He’s holding her face back in his direction but she’s still looking down into her lap.Her heart isn’t ready to look into his eyes yet.  

She mumbles under her breath and she can sense his eyebrows furrowing.“What was that?”

“No one has ever said that to me before.”She looks up and meets his equally astonished eyes.She laughs in amazement and smiles so widely her face hurts.These are happy tears.“No one has ever said that to me before!”

“No one?”He looks absolutely heartbroken but she feels like she’s on top of the world.“Not even your parents?”

“My dad left when I was six and my mother wasn’t exactly the maternal type.No one has ever said that to me before.Except you.”  

Oliver’s eyes light on fire as he catches on to her ramblings.He holds her face in his hands, tucking strands of hair behind her ears, and his eyes bore into her so fiercely.So _lovingly._ “I _love_ you, Felicity.”He says it again.And again.And again. 

She tips her head back and laughs almost hysterically, tears slipping down her face.She is so, so miraculously happy.  

Her head is still throbbing and her body still aches but nothing can kill her buzz.She sobers eventually, laying back onto her pillows tilting her head towards Oliver dreamily.“Why now?” she asks once she’s calm.They are both still smiling but now Oliver looks confused.“We’ve been seemingly dancing around each other for years.You knew how I felt.So, why now?”

He sobers and strokes her hair away from her cheek.There is still a small smile on his lips and Felicity wants to kiss it.“I always thought that, given the nature of what I do and who I am, I would be putting you in danger if I let myself get any closer to you.So many of the people I love have already gotten hurt because of me.”Felicity rubs her thumbs against the back of his hand.“I already knew that I was putting you in a certain amount of danger just by keeping you on the team but that was your choice and I wasn’t going to take it away from you.Quite frankly, our team would be nothing without you but as far as being with you, I couldn’t put you in any more risk than you already were.But tonight, when I heard you go over that bridge, and seeing you in here after, I finally realized that, no matter what, I can’t always protect you.You could die from some sickness in a year or send your car over a bridge any day and I would be hopeless to stop it. So, just in case that happens, why would I waste one more second not being with you, holding you, telling you how I feel and that I love you.I don’t know when we’ll run out of time to be together, so I’m not going to waste it for stupid reasons anymore.And, I’m sorry it took me this long to come to my senses.I love you, Felicity.”  

She is crying again, her eyes red and puffy, but she doesn’t care.She holds his face in her hands and brings it close to her own.“I love you too, Oliver.”And kisses him.  

The kiss is soft and wonderful and perfect.It’s not exactly the lustful kiss she’d always pictured their first would be like but now she has the rest of her life to figure out all of the different ways she likes to kiss Oliver Queen.  

From the door behind them there is a sudden loud sobbing noise.Felicity’s nurse is blowing her nose into a tissue, teary-eyed and looking about ready to swoon.Behind her, Diggle and Roy are smirking and rolling their eyes.She and Oliver had been too absorbed in each other to even notice them at all.

“About time,” says Diggle.  

“Seriously,” Roy agrees.“How’re ya feeling, Blondie?”

Felicity smiles a dreamy smile, looking up at Oliver lovingly.“Sore but wonderful,” she finally admits.  

Wiping her eyes one last time, the nurse approaches the side of the bed.“Alright, sweetheart.Let’s have a look-see, shall we?”The nurse is prodding at the stitches in Felicity’s temple when the blonde abruptly sits up, startling the room.

“Wait!” she says, throwing her arms out as if to stop everyone.“What happened to the dog?”  

Everybody chuckles affectionately and smiles at her.  

Felicity has never felt more loved.

“No, seriously though.”

 


End file.
